I'm always reminded of this when bad things happen to me. Recently our cat has twice passed out and appeared to be dead. The first time this happen he spontaneously woke up a few minutes later after I thought he was definitely a goner. Then when I was at work in January he did the same thing, except Marcus was home with him. He appeared to have died, so Marcus rushed him to the Emergency Vet around the corner. They put him on a heart monitor, which showed he was severely bradycardic for a cat. He was completely non-responsive and they prepared us to have to put him down in the morning. It had to have been one of the saddest things I have gone through. We cried and cried and cried. He proceeded to wake up the following morning and has been fine ever since. However, this experience with our cat has made me so much more empathetic to my sick patients and their families. If I felt grief stricken and helpless with our cat, I can only imagine how it must feel if it was your spouse or parent. Even though it is so easy in our field to get burnt out from always caring and giving to others, I think it is a highly respectable position in life.
Another instance that reminded me to be empathetic recently as well was getting quasi food poisoning. We went to a friends house for a holiday dinner. I made a spiral ham, everything was going great until we got home. I puked and puked and puked for hours. Luckily I had the next day off work. Sitting next to the toilet feeling nauseous for hours is enough to make you go running for Zofran when your patient tells you they are feeling nauseous. Being reminded of how much suffering sucks in your own life, makes your a more empathetic person to your own patients. Not that I am recommending going through every painful experience in life just to make you a more caring individual. Instead when something bad happens then you can take it into your own practice.
I think a large part of not loosing our empathetic edge as nurses is not over working and taking good care of ourselves on our days off. We should be just as empathetic towards ourselves as we are to our patients. So the various goals for this quarter come together in an interesting way. That taking care of ourselves makes us able to be more caring and empathetic towards our own patients. The airlines really do have it right, when they tell you to secure your own oxygen mask before assisting those around you:)
Maybe I am just optimistic, but I really do aspire to continue becoming more empathetic towards others as my life goes on and as my nursing career goes on. I think you are never too old or young to get better at this. And if you need a reminder, you can always think of a sick pet or yourself getting nauseous.
You've always struck me as a very kind hearted person, always looking for the best in a situation. I'm sure these qualities are another dimension of what makes you a great nurse. I agree with you that working too much and ignoring our own needs is a recipe for frustration and a lack of empathy for anyone. I try to remember these things when a coworker is begging me to cover their shift or a manager traps me in the hallway and asks me if I can work that night (after working all day). I always feel like I need to say yes (especially if it's my boss), but I know myself and know how tired and probably bitter I'll end up if I say yes. So I am working on that one.
ReplyDeleteWhat a scary series of events with your cat!!! I can't imagine how terrifying that has to have been. I hope he is doing well now.
I really, really, really like this post. I too think empathy is something that can be learned and expanded, as well as contracted and disappear from burnout. I feel like everyone should have to live on food stamps for a week, live outside in a city for a night, have to go through our healthcare system at some point in their lives, so on and on… I get so tired of hearing intolerant talk, especially about people who are suffering in some way. As nurses it is important to have experiences that open us up and I really agree that self-care is so crucial on the back end, to make sure there is the stamina to keep it up and not burnout. Your cat story is so crazy! How horrible! And yet he keeps rebounding, how nuts! I had to hand my favorite cat to the vet to put him down. It was excruciating. I've had a lot of death of friends and family in my life and it is gut-wrenching. I guess it is emotions that make us alive, otherwise we'd be robots. I never want to be a robot nurse. Important to look for clues that is happening...
ReplyDeleteI can't think of a scarier situation than sitting around helpless while your loved one's life is hanging in the balance. Thank god cats have nine lives, and that your lovely made it through both times to be in the world with you longer. I think that this post really reflects why you've chose to be a nurse. You are a compassionate person. Your passion for being a harp master must've been hard to leave behind somewhat, but perhaps it wasn't that hard when you had/have the opportunity to heal people for a living? I might be wrong, but that's sense I get from you as an empathic person. Hope your kitty is all and well these days, as well as your other loved ones.
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